Pidop
“Is it wrong I no longer want to live?”, Pidop inquired.
Dusk was setting in and there was no one with him now. No one but Ara. Faithful Ara. After months of witnessing his loved ones were no where to be found, there was nothing left for Pidop to continue on for. What good would his life be without others to enjoy it with him. Even if his friends had not abandoned him, their love was never enough to quench his heart’s desparation.
“My life is over. I am tired of trying to move on to only see that I have been living in a circle.”
“Pidop, you know that you have not been living in a circle. You have been around freely for all your time. Why is it that you wish to die? Is there truly nothing left that can give you meaning? Certainly there is something for you my dear, sweet child.”, said Ara.
“No. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me but… it’s no use. I don’t even care. I want my life to end. I have crafted my own casket. I have laid in it my most valued possessions. There is nothing left for me but to go there – to go there and die.”
“Once again your ambitious imagination is getting the best of you. Nothing has happened to you that you cannot recover from. You are here before me today are you not? If your life were truly over from the circumstances that have come before you, would you not have died in the wake of them? Would you have not failed insteal of prevailed?”
“Ara, you do not get it. My friends have left me. I am alone in this world. At least you have your children. At least you have yourself. My mind is gone. My passions have staled. What I have left is there, in my final bed.”
Together they looked onward to his casket. In the graveyard, alongside of many tombstones was his casket. Crafted from the finest of materials, it was one of a kind. It was custom for everyone to have similar caskets, yet Pidop elected for his own, unique variation. He saw the casket as his home. It was familiar territory, not foreign. For the final time, he would enter into his creation and seal the door shut.
“You have a world to see, a new family to one day meet.”, Ara pleaded.
“You have dreams and goals and aspirations. You have a hope that no other can even contend with. You are nothing more than yourself, Pidop! Who cares if your life has had some struggles? Who cares if your friends are now your enemies? You are feeling lonely, sad and depressed? Well, good! Often things only get better before they get worse.”
Catching her breathe Ara continued, “You have come to me for advice your entire life. Have I ever led you astray child? You are to grow up and be so much more. One day you will leave this place. You will leave me. I will not be saddened by your depature but overjoyed that you are no longer here, surrounded by your pains. That grave you have set over there. Go in it. You think you will die there? Then, go. You want to think life is over? Fine. But you are delaying the invetiable. You will overcome once again. You will be stronger, and your wounds – they will heal. There is more, I swear, for you my dear, sweet child.”
With tears accumulating in his eyes Pidop backed away in silence. Ara had been with him when all others had left. When his parents and siblings had moved on without him. When his friends had ridiculed him and beat him. Ara was there. She was wise, but for the first time she would be wrong.
These scars could not heal.
No words of encouragement nor act of kindness could make him forget the pain.
So, he went to the only place he knew he would feel at home – to his casket.
Pidop took his final steps toward the graveyard. Looking back he saw Ara still standing. No emotions found in her face but love. No tears, no frown, but you could see that she radiated nothing more but love.
“Your time is not done Pidop. You are not ready to die.”, Ara spoke, walking towards him.
This time, however, she was soft spoken. She did not speak loudly, she did not need too. Her voice carried across the earth on its own.
“You will see me again child. But next time…”, her voice trailed off.
“But next time, you will be the one to leave me my dear, sweet child.”
“Ara, you will have your children. You are not alone in this world. You do not understand what I am going through. You are wise yet you cannot relate.”
“No child, I cannot relate. But I do understand. Your friends left you? Mine have gone away too. Your family left you? Mine has died, far away from me. You think you will die? I know you will live. I had only hoped I would have had you with me longer my dear, sweet child. You are meant for more though. Where you will rise too I cannot follow. Your place is beyond this dusk while my rightful place is here.”
“You always did speak with such confounding knowledge Ara.”, Pidop said with half a smile.
“Can I ask one more act of kindness from you Ara?”
“Yes, of course.”, Ara responded.
“Then take these nails and take that hammer. Once I am inside my casket, nail it shut for good. This is what I am asking of you.”
With a tear finally breaking from her eye Ara nodded in agreement and walked with him to the casket.
“I will miss you, you know? I must go now. Goodbye Ara.”
“Goodbye Pidop. I will always love you. My dear, sweet child.”
With her ending sentence he descended into his casket. Leaning over she placed the nails securely into the casket. As he heard the final knocks on the casket door he held no regrets. This world just never allowed him to feel at home. So now, he would go find a new home.
Ara stood, watching over the casket. Ready to welcome Pidop as before. This time, he would not come out of the casket the same. This time, the casket would finally take him.
Five dawns later he came. And as he came so easily, so he went.
Ara choked back her tears and whispered to herself…
“Goodbye Pidop…
My dear, sweet, ….
beautiful butterfly.”
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