Moving!

All posts from here on out, can be viewed on www.ctwarren.com.

Update: The Road to Writing

     As mentioned before, I set out this summer to write down a story that had been looming in the back of mind for awhile. I came up with a plan, wrote that plan down, and took action. I am pleased to share that although I am not on the exact schedule (I am a few days behind) I anticipated, I can say that I am still going strong!

     My wife has been a great encouragement for me the past few weeks and so has my sister. A few family members agreed to read the book as I wrote it to give me feedback as I went. So far, I have only heard back from one person who gave a fairly good review.

    I just finished Chapter 5 and I am thrilled to be approaching the "1/4th" mark to my book. I am over 20,000 words and going strong! I have completed my Query Letter and have a list of agents I will be attempting to get in to conact with. Other than that I cannot share much more. Everything is going well and I am feeling blessed! I will add a new poem or short story here soon too! Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers!

Project A

The past two weeks, as somewhat indicated in my last post, have not been the greatest. That, however, is slowly changing and I am excited with what is coming up. With just a week and a half left of my schoolwork for this year (thank God), I have put together a deadline for the book I am going to write. In theory, I will begin writing it on May 10th and will continue to follow my scheduled deadline until August 14th.

Between those dates I have set aside “markers” to keep me on track. Here’s what the general idea looks like…

05/15: Chapter 1
05/22: Chapters 2-3
05/29: Chapters 4-5
06/05: Chapter 6
06/12: Chapters 7-8
06/19: Chapter 9
06/26: Chapter 10
07/03: Chapter 11
07/10: Chapter 12
07/17: Chapters 13-14
07/24: Chapters 15-16
07/31: Chapter 17
08/ 07: Chapter 18
08/14: Chapter 19

Until then I will just finish my college work and continue to outline. For three months I have been outlining the first book for my series. I have developed the storyline and main characters for the remaining five books but I have barely touched on their outlining. The idea is that once I finish this first one I will outline the second book while searching for a literary agent . While he is then pitching the book to publishing companies I will be writing the second book.

Overall I am very excited. It feels like what I have been working on for months will finally be put to paper. I had hoped to reread one of my childhood favorites first but I think it would be best to take advantage of the summer break from college.

I will likely be posting periodically with updates on how I am (or am not) staying on schedule this summer. The goal is this for the book: 80,000 words with 19 chapters, equivilating to approximately 4,210 words per chapter. In the past I kind of got carried away and created much longer chapters. Utilizing multiple resources I have learned that for a first time author this is not the grandest of ideas. For now, I will simply refer to this as "Project A". If, in years from now I remain unpublished, I can genuinely say I am okay with that. If I create a story that can entertain my friends and family then I have found the cornerstone to success in this profession.

Friday at 11:35 a.m.

Today’s post is definitely on the personal note. What does that mean? Essentially… nothing. When I reconsidered coming back to blog I decided that some of the posts would be, simply me. No matter where life’s journey takes me, I ultimately would like to look back, read my writings and recollect – as all old people do, right?

Not too much has been going on that is worth sharing I suppose. My college work is still a work in progress (of which I am drastically behind). Married life is still wonderful. Though I fight with my friends and family far more than needed, they too are great blessings.

I guess what is less than amazing is my work life. It’s become more than stagnant. I am ready to be done with sitting in an office every day, working in a field I do not foresee myself staying in. Although I am very grateful for my employement, it is just not where I see myself in five years. Then again, I do not see myself using the college degree I am working on either.

Where I would like to be is not even where I live, geographically, now. Alaska is home yet so much more of what I am wanting out of life is beyond these mountains or frigid oceans.

Perfect world scenario? If it were truly perfect, I would be published and living somewhere much warmer with my wife and relatives. Maybe even have some old/new friends to share life with in a new environment. We would have a great church family and it would be, simply that – perfect.

Then comes reality. The reality is that being a published author is an extremely, unlikely field to venture in to. Somewhere between 1-3% of writers make the long process of becoming published and continue to write. That’s a crazy percentile as well as a very humbling one. It means to be published will be a difficult path – not an impossible one.

So what’s the immediate plan? Well, to be honest while not sharing too much, my plan is already in the works. I am attempting to create a 6 book fiction series. The concept is pulled from a mix between the gothic genre and mythological, with a tiny touch of a sci-fy background. Before I write the first book I intend to have 3 or 4 books thoroughly outlined. The first book is about 2/3 done with outlining and planning. My personal deadline is to have the book completed by September of this year, seek out a reputable literary agent (though I have two great people already helping me), and to present the book to a publisher by this time next year.

My view is to either dedicate a year to this project and try to do what I have hoped for or to wait and never know if I was “talented” enough to make the cut. In the mean time I will continue to share some small “storyettes” or poetic pieces. I just need to focus on my book primarily, because that, is what I want in my future. I have jotted down many, many book ideas. I just need one to work out and then I will finally find my gateway – so to speak.

Ideally, and realistically, I believe that in five years I could be published. I would still have a grand ole’ day job and I may actually use my degree for its purpose. Will I be out of the big AK? Maybe. Maybe not. In the end if I was able to travel out a little more often I may find it harder to leave.

I do genuinely hope you are well in whatever path of life you find yourself. I appreciate you taking the time to read any of my posts. As time has come I have lost connections with some of my previous “online” friends, however I look forward to meeting new ones and establishing meaninful connections too. Feel free to send me a message or even an email if you would like!

Here’s to better planning, assignments turned in on time and to a bright, optimistic future ahead.

Short Storyette: Pidop

Pidop

“Is it wrong I no longer want to live?”, Pidop inquired.

Dusk was setting in and there was no one with him now. No one but Ara. Faithful Ara. After months of witnessing his loved ones were no where to be found, there was nothing left for Pidop to continue on for. What good would his life be without others to enjoy it with him. Even if his friends had not abandoned him, their love was never enough to quench his heart’s desparation.

“My life is over. I am tired of trying to move on to only see that I have been living in a circle.”

“Pidop, you know that you have not been living in a circle. You have been around freely for all your time. Why is it that you wish to die? Is there truly nothing left that can give you meaning? Certainly there is something for you my dear, sweet child.”, said Ara.

“No. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me but… it’s no use. I don’t even care. I want my life to end. I have crafted my own casket. I have laid in it my most valued possessions. There is nothing left for me but to go there – to go there and die.”

“Once again your ambitious imagination is getting the best of you. Nothing has happened to you that you cannot recover from. You are here before me today are you not? If your life were truly over from the circumstances that have come before you, would you not have died in the wake of them? Would you have not failed insteal of prevailed?”

“Ara, you do not get it. My friends have left me. I am alone in this world. At least you have your children. At least you have yourself. My mind is gone. My passions have staled. What I have left is there, in my final bed.”

Together they looked onward to his casket. In the graveyard, alongside of many tombstones was his casket. Crafted from the finest of materials, it was one of a kind. It was custom for everyone to have similar caskets, yet Pidop elected for his own, unique variation. He saw the casket as his home. It was familiar territory, not foreign. For the final time, he would enter into his creation and seal the door shut.

“You have a world to see, a new family to one day meet.”, Ara pleaded.

“You have dreams and goals and aspirations. You have a hope that no other can even contend with. You are nothing more than yourself, Pidop! Who cares if your life has had some struggles? Who cares if your friends are now your enemies? You are feeling lonely, sad and depressed? Well, good! Often things only get better before they get worse.”

Catching her breathe Ara continued, “You have come to me for advice your entire life. Have I ever led you astray child? You are to grow up and be so much more. One day you will leave this place. You will leave me. I will not be saddened by your depature but overjoyed that you are no longer here, surrounded by your pains. That grave you have set over there. Go in it. You think you will die there? Then, go. You want to think life is over? Fine. But you are delaying the invetiable. You will overcome once again. You will be stronger, and your wounds – they will heal. There is more, I swear, for you my dear, sweet child.”

With tears accumulating in his eyes Pidop backed away in silence. Ara had been with him when all others had left. When his parents and siblings had moved on without him. When his friends had ridiculed him and beat him. Ara was there. She was wise, but for the first time she would be wrong.

These scars could not heal.

No words of encouragement nor act of kindness could make him forget the pain.

So, he went to the only place he knew he would feel at home – to his casket.

Pidop took his final steps toward the graveyard. Looking back he saw Ara still standing. No emotions found in her face but love. No tears, no frown, but you could see that she radiated nothing more but love.

“Your time is not done Pidop. You are not ready to die.”, Ara spoke, walking towards him.

This time, however, she was soft spoken. She did not speak loudly, she did not need too. Her voice carried across the earth on its own.

“You will see me again child. But next time…”, her voice trailed off.

“But next time, you will be the one to leave me my dear, sweet child.”

“Ara, you will have your children. You are not alone in this world. You do not understand what I am going through. You are wise yet you cannot relate.”

“No child, I cannot relate. But I do understand. Your friends left you? Mine have gone away too. Your family left you? Mine has died, far away from me. You think you will die? I know you will live. I had only hoped I would have had you with me longer my dear, sweet child. You are meant for more though. Where you will rise too I cannot follow. Your place is beyond this dusk while my rightful place is here.”

“You always did speak with such confounding knowledge Ara.”, Pidop said with half a smile.

“Can I ask one more act of kindness from you Ara?”

“Yes, of course.”, Ara responded.

“Then take these nails and take that hammer. Once I am inside my casket, nail it shut for good. This is what I am asking of you.”

With a tear finally breaking from her eye Ara nodded in agreement and walked with him to the casket.

“I will miss you, you know? I must go now. Goodbye Ara.”

“Goodbye Pidop. I will always love you. My dear, sweet child.”

With her ending sentence he descended into his casket. Leaning over she placed the nails securely into the casket. As he heard the final knocks on the casket door he held no regrets. This world just never allowed him to feel at home. So now, he would go find a new home.

Ara stood, watching over the casket. Ready to welcome Pidop as before. This time, he would not come out of the casket the same. This time, the casket would finally take him.

Five dawns later he came. And as he came so easily, so he went.

Ara choked back her tears and whispered to herself…

“Goodbye Pidop…

                         My dear, sweet, ….

                                                            beautiful butterfly.”

Remembering O.K.C.

Today we remember the Oklahoma City bombing that took place 18 years ago. Since that time there have been other, various acts of evil done on American soil. From the recent bombing at the Boston Marathon to the tragedy of Sandy Hook Elementary School. It seems that even with the strongest pushes for peace coupled with remarkable technological advances, there is still evil that plagues humanity.

Growing up in Oklahoma City I can recall bits and pieces of what it was like after the bombing. For years following the attack I remember visiting “Bricktown”, as we called it, to see photographs of the victims hanging from a metal fence. There were wreaths made, also hanging on the fence, demonstrating respect to those who lost loved ones. They were a symbol that we would not forget; eighteen years later, we still have not forgotten.

Years later, with a completed memorial and the death of Timothy McVay, many who lost loved ones look for answers as if it was just a day ago. “Why did he do it?” or “Why was my loved one the one who died?”. Hard questions to which no answer is being offered. Similarily those who suffered losses in the 9/11 attack or the Boston Marathon will face those same questions.

Online, there has been a lot of insensitivity. It seems that some guns rights activists are attempting to use these recent attacks as fuel to defend their right to bear arms. Though I agree with that right, affirmed in the 2^nd Amendment, I believe that when we forget to mourn the losses of loved ones, or even mourn beside those who did lose a loved one, we lose unity. We lose the ability to come together and rebuild where chaos has afflicted.

Hope is what we have to turn to. Through all of the different tragedies that have occurred I am thankful to have Jesus Christ as the One I can turn to. I cannot say why God did not elect to stop those evils from befalling. All I can say is that I believe He allows events to happen in life to bring others to Himself so that this life’s suffering is the only pain they may know. 

Sympathize with those suffering in this time. Pray for those who have lost loved ones, or whose lives are forever altered by these attacks; pray also for our military, that many more would come home safely. Forgive those who have offenses, but never forget to remember those who passed away on these days. If applicable, learn, to avoid future dangers. Finally, know for yourself that there is a greater Hope you can claim as your own with certainty.

Wishing Away Life

As a first post, I contemplated what I should write on. Though I have varying topics to discuss, making a good first impression is generally a good thing to attain. For the past few months I have had an ongoing idea that I have been trying to get across my mind. This idea, is essentially going back to my foundations. What does that mean? It means that somehow, over the past few years of my life I have ventured from the important message my foundations taught to caring about petty, insignificant aspects. The lesson I have been learning is that whatever my foundations are based upon should be expressed in the simplest, yet most respectable format possible.

So what are my foundations then? They are my beliefs, my values that I hold to as truth. I believe first and foremost I should love God. Secondly, I should love the people He created. Love takes on various forms, depending on the situation. In the end, the greatest way to show someone I love them is to share the Gospel message. I highly value the institution of marriage. I believe family is a vital construct for any society. I also believe that through cultural influences, we, as individuals, often place limitations on what we can or cannot do because of normalities. I believe that each day should be treated with gratitude. I value hard work above social status. Loyalty is one of the greatest traits a friend or loved one can display. I also believe it is my personal obligation to be giving as I have been given to.

With all of the above mentioned, I find it an annoyance within myself to take those simple truths and to warp them into a subject that is too complex to practically live or explain. Specifically, I have fallen short in my belief that each day should be held with thanksgiving.

It seems that I have been on a mindset that just cannot wait for certain events in life. As I have blatantly posted around my blog and website, I want to be an author. I await that day to finally arrive. On a personal note, I cannot wait to move to a warmer place. Living in Alaska for twelve years now, I am ready to have all four seasons of the year. The problem is, while I wait for these, and other, events in my life to come to pass, I am blindsided by what is going on around me.

I do love Alaska. I do love my current job. I guess it is a “the grass is greener” phase I keep turning in to. It is not wrong to look onward to the future; in fact, it is good to plan ahead. The key is to balance future concerns with what matters in the present. Be ready for what the future may hold, but understand the future does hold uncertainty too. There are always events that are out of our control. Planning will only get us so far. So rather than find ourselves overly worried or stressed about the unknown future, find the happy medium between careful planning and enjoy what blessings surround us in the present.